Tuesday, June 16, 2009

To kill the dead

This article is just to make sure my blog doesn't go dead as some say it is, and the bigger updates coming soon ya, so just read up and learn from the words I've written ( :

“I think suicide is the most perfect thing you can do in life”

-Damien Hirst

When we all were young and foolish, we often sought after the easy way out of the difficult things in life. Take for example when we were in our schooling years we often try offering a mountain of excuses and reasons as to why we weren’t able to complete our homework or hand in our assignments on time. Or maybe a lazy clerk who tries to explain and justify himself to his boss, claiming he couldn’t finish the 1000-word report because he had to visit the restroom every 20 minutes. But, of all the silly things we do and say, suicide comes in ranked as the number one item on the list. Suicide as portrayed above as the “most perfect thing you can do in life” by the great artist, Damien Hirst is truly a remarkable statement, to both the fool and the idiot. In fact, the taking of one’s own life is in reality the most ridiculous and absurd way to end one’s misery and troubles. Imagine the pain and hurt you’d cause to your loved ones. Or the disappointment inflicted upon your close companions and friends. Or worse, the negative impact that would be scarred upon your family and its generations to come. Suicide is never the right option in any scenario. No matter how great the storm lashes or how fiery the flames may be, suicide never comes in as the right choice for any individual especially teenagers, to take.

But wait, what causes it? Pressure, some say. Grief, speaks another. Ranging from the death of a loved one, low self-esteem to even suffering from a terminal illness, there lies a list of endless possibilities and motives that spur a person to commit this abominable deed. But for us teens, we’re faced with our everyday trials and hurdles in the long race called “Life”. Maybe not a thousand pages of homework or a tonne of History notes to do, but remember, the greatest things in life come in small packages. The number one cause of teenage suicide in the United States of America is drug and alcohol abuse. Never underestimate the power imbued in that innocent-looking pill or bottle. Alone, it has caused the pitiful deaths and downfalls of millions of unfortunate people, including teenagers. You’d lose that highly-coveted prefect ranking of yours or your goody-two-shoes impression or maybe even your life, robbed by the notorious criminal, suicide. Some teenagers hold too many roles in their lives. As a son, a brother, friend, prefect, student being unable to live up to the expectations of their peers and loved ones. Some forecast us to become the next president of the United States, or maybe the richest man in the world not knowing the insurmountable pressure that they are placing on our shoulders. Knowing why and how it happens, is only part of the puzzle unsolved.

Fitting in the final pieces of the puzzle would be the knowledge and understanding of overcoming suicide. Remember the time when your mom kept nagging at you for not washing your dishes? Sometimes, you’d curse under your breath saying, “I wish I was dead and gone so I wouldn’t have to hear her stupid voice ever again.” Suicidal thoughts eh? We could all be more positive about life and our mom’s nagging about cleaning up the dishes for a start. Look on the bright side of things when the way grows dark. Remember, the optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the hole. Learn to be like the jolly optimist and instead of treating homework like a burden, why not take it as light exercise for your hands? Or maybe even regard washing dishes as playing with water and toys. Though the grass may not always be greener on the other side, our minds must be tuned to think of our troubles and strife as hurdles and obstacles that we as the athlete have to leap over and sprint across.

I’m sure we all love music and the wonderful melodies that they pronounce to our ears and heart. Needless to say, listening to soothing and relaxing music is indeed another way of overcoming your rocky and tumbling life. Like medicine to the sick, music is the cure to a wounded soul. It heals the cuts and relieves the pain while soaking up the blood that has been lost. Of course, the right choice of music would indeed influence the effect it bears on its listeners. Would you prefer to hear the comforting and reassuring melody of voices so angelic? Or the deafening and vulgar hellcalls of rock bands and heavy metal groups? Without doubt, our minds would be tempted to savour the tuneful hymns thus laying aside our doubts and of course, suicidal thoughts and intents.

“Hold my hand, all the way, every hour, every day. From here, to the great unknown. Take my hand, let me stand where no one stands alone.” The lyrics of this song truly describes the unparalleled value that lies in the spirit of friendship and fellowship. Thus, implying that we should all be in the ever so loving company of our friends, family and loved ones. Be it a simple dinner with a friend or a lengthy chat with your next-door neighbour and possibly a romantic date with your apple of the eye. Share your underlying problems with them and let them hear you out. Remember that a true friend is one who comes in when the others go out. Don’t forget your beloved parents who are ever ready to lend their ears and hands whenever the need arises. They who love and cherish your life the most will be the greatest cure for not only suicidal intents but also, the great storm that crosses your path and the searing fire that blazes your long and winding journey, that I once referred to as “Life”.

All of us have a little fire that burns within us. The flame that keeps us living from day to day. The burning passion and will to strive and tell ourselves that tomorrow is going to be a better day for you, me and everyone else. That fire, is hope. Hope bears all things, endures all things, embraces all things. Don’t let that fire go out, or so will you. Don’t let suicide be the pathetic end to your life. You have one shot at life, don’t waste it on suicide.

I stand alone on silent nights,
my scares of feelings dawn new light.
I cannot reap a soul nor weep,
and at night I cannot sleep.
For the demons wake in silent beds,
to pull all my fears and dread.
I must stay on my chosen path;
hope to outrun their gentle wraith.
I cannot stop 'til peace has shone,
but then I fear I am all alone.
Like a candle I flicker light,
shedding tears and shedding fright.
The people cling with all their might,
to hold to my dieing light.
My fears and dreams came close to thee,
stop what's right for me.
All but your presence is unknown,
how can I make all seem alone?
it brings so much strength to stop these tears;
Yet somehow your touch will wash my fears.


Saturday, June 6, 2009

B'day : D

Well, for those of you who do not know, I recently celebrated my birthday with my mom, bro and grannie. It's not much, but still, a celebration with your loved ones is still a celebration *winks*
Well, here is the report and pictures ( :

Having dinner at the brand new and posh Bei Zhan ( :

Dishes served, soft shelled crab with cereal, veggie, fish pieces and braised tofu

The one and only, soft shelled crab, extremely delicious!

My 17th b'day cake! Chocolate mud cake : P dam tasty wei xD

Sadist at work

Pix with my bro and dog, Kelly

Last but not least, my dearest mom! THANKS FOR ALL YOU'VE DONE! ( ;

Monday, June 1, 2009

The dark side of love

I actually disagree pretty much with what I've written in my article below : ) but still, for those who are about to make that mistake, remember Romeos, to find the right Juliet! And Juliets, love your Romeos not for their money, love them for who they are :D

I love you.

Her hand felt warm and cozy in mine. Her head fits snugly on my shoulders. Oh how I wished this happiness would last forever. Never in my life had I experienced such joy, such bliss. We would tour the malls everyday after class. There she would be picking out dresses which satisfied her deep passion for clothes. And there I would be as a walking ATM machine where she would withdraw money from. We would spend our love-filled weekends in posh cafes and sometimes visiting the local fun fairs. Happily would I buy anything in the world she wanted. All I needed was her love and I had more than she could offer.

Here we see the typical teenager, falling prey to a dangerous foe. Like a hungry wolf in sheep's clothing, the predator is silent, quick, lethal yet it's prey is completely oblivious to the oncoming danger. Teenage romance is undeniably the prime culprit for destroying a adolescent's life. Be it scars of the past, sufferings in the present or sorrows in the future, teenage romance or commonly known as 'puppy love' is an unbecoming and unavoidable phase in each one's lives. Though inevitable, it can be controlled by means of willpower and focus on the greater priorities in life. Many argue teenage romance is the foundation for a happy, lasting and fruitful relationship in the long run. But look at reality unveiled, teenagers leading lives scarred with despair and the desire to relive their 'love-filled' glory days after suffering a destructive break-up. From here, the problem grows into such complexity and till it gets out of hand.

I think I love you.

"Do you love me?" She threw me a cold look. A killer's stare. Her eyes spelt hatred and spite. She turned her back and walked out on me. I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. My legs gave way and I lost the will to stand up again. I laid motionless on the cold, hard floor. As a newborn babe, I wept and cried but I knew no amount of tears could bring her back. It stung my heart with such pain to know I have been played a fool all this while, deceived by the devil behind a woman's face. I finally realized she never loved me, she loved my money. How could I be blinded by the shadow of beauty, led as a sheep to the slaughter as a lamb before its shearer is silent. My love for her turned into a consuming hatred. I hated her, I hated everyone, I hated everything. I hate myself.

Following the destructive impact from a break-up, one will experience a drastic and negative change of personality and emotions. For the few fortunate ones, a break up will be easily overcome with a strong sense of rational reasoning and careful consideration based on fair judgements. On the other hand, a teenager with a weak and untrained mind will succumb to violence, anger, hatred and pain to douse their raging flame of vengeance. Soon, one sees a progressively damaging and detrimental effect on the pitiful victim. Casualties usually resort to inflict pain on others and themselves to satisfy their bloodlust in pursuit of atonement and retribution.

I hate you.

The blows on the door became louder. I slithered the jagged blade across my palm. The pain shot across my mind, transformed into exuberant sensations of delight and pleasure. I cackled in glee, watching the crimson streamlets of blood seep down my hand. The floor rug was daubed with red and littered with shreddings of books and cloth. I branded the walls of my room with smears of fresh paint and ink. My eyes narrowed with satisfaction as I admired my distinguished masterpieces of malice. I could hear my old man yelling his lungs out. Finally he busted the door and gazed at me with those eyes. Her eyes. He tried to wrestle the serrated rapier out of my hand. I moved quickly, switching between hands and in a flash and flicker of bladework, cleaved the weapon across his chest. I licked a broad smile.

Victims enslaved by their anger require a long time to recover and regain their former self. Even though the wounds heal, the scars never fade away leaving a permanent and lasting impression of ones horrid past. Without constant consolation and reassurance, the unfortunate one will continue to be gripped by his lust and zeal for revenge until he quenches his unruly thirst in a prison called vengeance. Truly, the destructive effects of teenage relationships overwhelm the negligible and pathetic 'positive effects' that many argue about. Therefore, one should commit him or herself to another person in the name of true love when the time is right as quoted by Rita Rudner, "Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times."

The soft breeze patted gently on my face. A vibrant dash of orange and amber splashed across the twilight sky. I turned to find her head nestled comfortably in my bosom. I knew this was it. I knew it was her. I knew this was true love.

I love you.


Avoid this situation at all times ( :


This post is dedicated to all my buddies who wished me a happy birthday! Without you girls and monyets, my day will be super boring laa ( : a very special thanks to Eunice and Christine for staying up till the hour of reckoning solely for the purpose of wishing me!
Love you gals! ( :
Thanks also to Eric, Kin Mun, Andre, Kin Yoong and Jo Ray for inviting for the wonderful badminton game! Eh, ppl b'day give me own la..you all dam kejam wei...haha
As for now, I'll soon be going off for my mini celebration in an unknown place, thanks to my dearest mom!
Once again, a very big thanks to all my brothers and sisters in Christ, guyfriends and girlfriends and relatives and pets and monyets and DotA buddies and the whole lot of you!

thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks