sunny side up (:

Here's some light reading for your entertainment :D

Stopping outside an advertisement "A Unique Breakfast", a man asked the waitress what this was and was told "Baked Chicken Tongue"

"That's disgusting!" the man said. "I would never eat something that came out of a chicken's mouth!"

"What would you like then?" the waitress asked..

"Just give me some scrambled eggs." He replied...

An executive hired a temporary chauffeur when his regular driver went on holiday. He asked the new man for his name and was told, "Charles, sir."
"I always call my driver by his surname," the executive said curtly.

"My name is Charles Darling, sir." The chauffeur replied.

"Very well, Charles," said the executive. "Drive on."

Frank believed five was his special number. He was born on May 5th, had 5 children and lived at 555 Fifth Avenue. At the race on his 55th birthday, he was delighted to find a horse named Numero Cinco running in the fifth race from barrier 5. Exactly 5 minutes before the race, Frank went to betting window No. 5 and put $500 on Numero Cinco. It finished fifth.

"There I was, relaxing in my favourite chair last Sunday," one office worker told another, "reading the newspaper, watching one football match on TV and listening to another on radio, drinking a beer, eating a snack and rubbing the dog's tummy with my foot - and my wife has the nerve to accuse me of sitting there and doing nothing."

A big burly man paid a visit to a priest's home. "Sir," he said, "I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family. The father is unemployed and the mother can't work because of nine children she must raise. They are hungry and soon will be forced onto the street unless someone pays their $500 rent."

"How terrible!" exclaimed the priest. Touched by the concern of a man with such a gruff appearance, he asked, "May I ask who you are?" The visitor sobbed, "I'm their landlord."

"Hey, BUDDY," said the taxi passenger, tapping the driver on the shoulder. The driver screamed and lost control of the cab; nearly hitting a bus, jumping the curb and stopping inches from a huge plate-glass window.

For a few moments, everything was silent. Then the driver said, "You scared the daylights out of me!"

"I'm sorry," said the passenger. "I didn't realize a tap on the shoulder would frighten you so much!"

"It's not your fault," the driver replied. "Today is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

Ken's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics when she heard that they would make her look years younger. After applying the products, she asked her husband, "Darling, tell me honestly, what age would you say I am?"

Looking over her carefully, Ken replied, "Let me see. Judging by your skin, 20, your hair, 18 and your figure, 25."

"Oh, you flatter me," she gushed in delight.

"No wait," Ken replied. "I haven't added them up yet."